Morning- Coffee and Bagels

My mother text me yesterday out of the blue. She wants me to come over and have coffee and a bagel or two with her this morning.

Seems innocent. Seems fair. Seems like a sweet gesture.
When you suffer from mental illness, it doesn’t. You second guess why she’d invite you. What’s her endgame. What is she planning. She wouldn’t possibly want to spend the morning with me. I’m nothing. I’m lame. I’m not entertaining in the slightest.
So what does she want? Will it be a favor? Help to remodel the house? Give the dogs a bath?

Then it hits your brain. The list of excuses.

Maybe I should text her that something came up. Maybe my husband wants to go do something at this exact time.

It’s an absolute nightmare. However, I’m going to force myself to shower, then drive over. I need to be more open minded. I need to stop putting myself down. I mean, that’s what others say all the time, right? To focus on one thing at a time.

First step-Shower