About Me

If you came here to find advice, you might be in the wrong place. If you came here to find someone possibly going through the mental struggle you are, then welcome. If you came to simply enjoy reading someone else’s thoughts, that’s great too. If you came just because the vortex of wierd that is the internet lead you here- welcome.

Now- I’ve never put much stock into mental health being a real issue. My father was a “pick yourself up by the bootstraps” kind of guy. A “Mans Man” as others used to say. 

He was very much an isolated person, who didnt share a feeling. Unless that was anger. He was the typical 90s butch father who would get drunk and express his one feeling through thrown dishes, spanking and the occasional “you’re garbage/nothing” said here or there; throwing you around the room, over the arm of the couch and into a wall – whichever was closest. 

Though recently I’m starting to learn that maybe his advice and “words of wisdom” shouldn’t be my greatest accomplishment or goals to try and achieve as an individual. Good riddance, all it really took was these feelings to fester and be 26 years old.

With my age out of the way, I guess the only other things to note are that I identify as male, and am married to a wonderful person who happens to also identify as male. We’ve been together for nearly 8 or so years now. We’ve overcome struggles of different varieties, but the most recent was financial. Well, to an extent.

We recently put all of our efforts and funds together, after living with parents for a few years / paying them monthly rent / paying off some of our credit card debt, to purchase a home.

Currently due to the area of which we bought our home, we got less than 1,000 square feet, two bedroom, one bath, completely overpriced for 220k.

I’d like to note that is something that I’d definitely like to not come across as whiny. While overpriced, and at times a little cramped with a small kitchen and 4 dogs (Chihuahua, McNabb, and 2 Saint Bernards), it’s home. It’s finally our space. That’s one of the things I will always be greatful for.

Aside from being married, owning a home, being a dog lover, and suffering from a less than ideal childhood, the only other thing of note is that I’m fat. Notice I didn’t say ugly- just fat. I’m okay with the term, but personally not okay with being overweight. A majority of what I post here will most likely be me expressing the lack of desire to workout/struggle with how difficult it is to motivate yourself when you see 400 on a scale.

I’ll never intend for things to come across as inconsiderate it intentionally vulgar. I’ll always try to be kind. I do slip up, I do make mistakes (current weight and mental state noted), but I do try to be accountable in my actions and accept my consequences. 

Example:

[Half a pizza- feeling shitty/not wanting to workout]