Posted in Anxiety, Failed to Exercise, Personal Accountability, Weight Loss Journey

McDonalds Food Poisoning and New Homeowner Questions

So as an update: (possibly gross TMI- you’ve been warned)

I decided to get McDonald’s the other night, a double cheeseburger fries and a coke. A “treat,” I told myself, for adulting so well and being on top of bills/exercise.
I then spent the next two days constantly running to the bathroom to explode and be sick out of both ends. Getting very little sleep with my stomach in knots, as my body rejected that meal and punished me for two days.
My husband believes that it’s because I haven’t eaten fast food in forever, and have been eating healthy foods regularly, my mother thinks it was food poisoning.
Regardless- it was an event in my life that has officially killed any burger joints for me. The thought of them makes me sick.

I got so dizzy, I literally passed out on the bathroom floor at 430 in the morning.

Never. I’m never. Eating that crap again.

Needless to say I haven’t done T25, and I’ll be picking up on Monday when my body is not trying to kill me.

Which brings me to my second half of this post

Homeowners- I have a few questions if you’d care to lay down some wisdom.
When does paying your mortgage become less of a burden?

When do mortgage insurance premiums go away?

When did you first refinance your home and why?
We aren’t behind by any means but if just the MIP (over $200 a month) were out of the way, we’d be able to consider building an actual family.
Any insight/advice you have to preemptively help us would be appreciated.

Posted in Anxiety, Depression, Failed to Exercise, Weight Loss Journey

400lbs – Weight Loss Journey, Day 2

This morning I was awoken to a knock at my door.
Not my front door to my house, mind you, but a knock at my bedroom door. Turns out, it was my sister. This was something I hadn’t been prepared for, since it was mine and my husband’s home that we lived in, alone.

She had come in to let me know that my mother had apparently been trying to call me since 6AM, and it was 2 hours of failed calls when she sent my sister to retrieve me. My father was having chest pains and he had to leave the family business to go to the emergency room. He runs a local rubberstamp company, which handles all sorts of self inking/woodmount stamps as well as street signs, endorsement stamps and more. My mother is the front end person, and the person who handles the books, while my father is the one who makes all of the products and cuts the material into specific sizes before using a laser to engrave whatever the customer wanted.

A few months back, before I had started to delve deeper into my depression, he had started showing me the ropes and how to create and manufacture the store’s products. While he was in the emergency room, my mother needed someone else to help fulfill orders because she never learned how to do it herself. They can’t afford customers not getting orders, because this business was how they paid their rent, their livelihood.

Without thinking, or showering, I put on clothes and grabbed my old uniform, while my sister made me a cup of coffee and gave me a ride to drop me off at the store. I spent most of the day doing things my mother was unable to do- go to the bank, drop orders off at the local USPS. Then heading back to the business in an attempt to help out the best I could. When it got a little slower, I took a break to drive down south one city over in order to give my old high school two boxes of books. Our library was also unable to get the funding for more books so they reached out for donations from our community.

Once I dropped them off and got back, we got the notice that my father was apparently healthy. They said his blood had an “oxygen rate of 100%, which was uncommon for life smokers”, and said that he was in great shape, but to follow up with his primary care physician. It made my mother much calmer, but worried me a little because he is the kind of man who has cut off a finger on the saw at the family business and didn’t run to the ER because he’s simply that “tough guy” that doesn’t do that kind of thing.

By the time I had gotten home, my sister, my workout buddy, had already started getting ready to go to her night job. We decided it would be best for the both of us to be held accountable and make tomorrow a double day.

So that’s where we are at, a family health scare and a busy day- but no excuses. We will hold ourselves accountable and do our double day tomorrow.

Be wary T25, we are coming for Speed 1.0 and Total Body Circuit. We will kick its ass, and we will get healthier.

If you’re interested in buying something from my parent’s business to help keep their livelihood secure, feel free to check out what they can do at

Posted in Failed to Exercise

Excuses- I have none…maybe

It’s already a mental battle to exercise when you are a fat and unhealthy person. The thought of pushing yourself to the limits to see no physical change in yourself that skinny people achieve drives you insane.

People who work out often tell you about the “good” feeling they have after. They talk about it like it’s some sort of high, like a drug that’s bestowed it’s effects through physical exertion and sweat.

I however, am not blessed with this feeling. It’s hard. It sucks. I feel like I’m dying when I exercise, and I always feel like I’ve been hit by a semi truck after. Most people would label that torture.

It sure as hell feels like it. Nearly half the day is gone and my workout buddy had to cancel, so I’ve conveniently found myself other things to do: clean out the car, play with the dogs, spend quality time with my husband, go to lunch with a friend, contact a detailer for the car, call mom.
I have excuses, but none of them should be used. I just need to remind myself that they are merely me trying to procrastinate so I run out of time. I don’t have a real excuse to skip the workout, because after just 25-30 minutes of T25, I’d be able to do anything else.

However- I think I need to make some tea.