Posted in Dead By Daylight, Heroes of the Storm

Teabagging Got You Where Exactly? / Heroes of the Storm Support #2 Kharazim

I don’t understand why survivors want to teabag and be jerkwads. Like- if you outplay someone, isn’t it enough to know that you were better? Why add insult to injury?
Especially in this case when you clearly lost….

 

Another heroes of the storm match as a different support: Kharazim. He is definitely one of my favorite supports if I time his ultimates right. He can have a never ending supply of mana and great escape/engage!

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Posted in Civilization VI, Dead By Daylight

Ragequitting the New Wraith / Civilization VI Let’s Play Nubia #6

Ragequitting the New Wraith

I will never understand why players disconnect from a game. The only person that inconveniences is them. Killers get a guaranteed pip, survivors still get bloodpoints for escaping…. It’s just a really shitty thing people in this community do when they lose and it’s sad. Hopefully they all get banned one day.

 

Civilization VI Let’s Play Nubia #6

Multiple wars while attempting to stick to my religion game. Jadwiga is my home girl!

Posted in Civilization VI, Dead By Daylight

Let’s Play Nubia #3 / Doctor Boot Camp

Let’s Play Nubia

 

   The One True Faith has been founded on Nubian soil. May others fear our might if they choose to not follow the glorious words of the Anti Navy Fuck Vikings.

 

Doctor Boot Camp

   My father and husband have severe issues attempting to land any skill checks against the doctor. They think he is the most difficult killer to go up against, and I believe that it is because they don’t really know what to do or how to play against him.

Posted in Anxiety, Dead By Daylight, Depression, Personal Accountability, Weight Loss Journey

When Mental Struggles Affect Weight

Hey there everyone, I am happy to let you know that things have gotten substantially better.
I have communicated with my husband about my mental illness. I have sought out help from professionals, and between a combination of therapy and medication, I have been able to once again feel like a productive person.

I no longer feel like I am a waste of space, or that the air I breathe is being wasted.

Also, we were approved as foster parents and have officially been licensed and our home is now recognized as a “Foster Care Facility”. Our social worker has done extensive interviews, and we have done intense training to ensure that not only am I prepared to have kids, but that we offer some kiddo a safe place. Our intention is to adopt a child in need, take them in, and give them the parenting we wish we received as children.

 

All of that stated, I am coming to the main update of my personal blog. My weight.

I started this health journey a few months ago and have struggled to find the will to work out, diet right, and firmly believe that the lack of energy I had to even get out of bed due to depression caused a lot of my health problems in regards to weight. I had originally started to realize I had a problem mentally when I hit 399lbs. A scary number that I never in my life thought I would get to.

Just I hopped on the scale yesterday and am happy to report that I have lost 42lbs, putting me at a current weight of 357lbs.

Now, for those interested, here is what I did.

1) I had to get myself in a better mental space. Every time I tried working out or dieting, my brain would look for reasons for me to fail. My depression would take over and drive me down into self doubt and loathing that I’d never thought possible. I got a hold of my doctor, received therapy, and have been prescribed Zoloft. I cannot urge you enough to get a hold of a doctor. Take mental illness seriously. Do not let yourself or others come up with some sort of excuse like “it’s all in my head” or “I can’t afford this”. At the end of the day you need to make yourself mentally capable. Mentally sound. Mentally fit. I can say with first hand experience that medication CAN work. Even if Zoloft doesn’t work for you, there are many medications out there that can influence mood and combat depression. Keep searching, and get the help you need to start taking care of yourself.

 

2) Once I was mentally stable enough to not give up on everything I tried doing within a week- Exercise, Diet, College, etc: I focused on my second biggest problem: Diet.

The world Diet itself, used to make me sad and depressed. I mean, it has the word DIE in it.

The biggest thing I can recommend here is that you need to be honest and hold yourself accountable. I know that I can eat an entire large Domino’s pizza by myself. Is that something I am ashamed of? No. I fucking love pizza. What I can say, is that I no longer eat 3 large pizzas a week. I order pizza no more than twice a month, and I have also started ordering one large pizza, with my limit at a half, while my husband can eat the other half or save some for his lunch at work the next day. In short, DON’T cut things that you love to eat out of your life. Cut it back, dial it down, but do not remove it. It will completely destroy your desire to diet and lose weight. You know what I am talking about. You tell yourself, “Just one Girl Scout Cookie,” and then the next thing you know, the whole box is gone because you didn’t just take one cookie and put the box up, instead you took the box with you to the couch and you’re hating yourself for being a pig.

The next thing I had to admit to myself about dieting is that I hate prepping meals for the week. While that works for other people, I CANNOT sit there, cook for an hour or so, and then spend my week eating cold as hell meals that had to be reheated in the microwave or oven. I get completely annoyed and disgusted. Maybe I don’t want the same thing every night, or maybe I simply changed my mind last minute because something else looked better, or I wanted to get something from the store because I was feeling creative in the kitchen.

To combat this:

I started buying food I knew I loved. I love fried chicken. I love Pork Chops. I love Steak. I love Beef.

So what did I do for chicken? I buy a pack of bone in chicken legs at our local grocery store, separate them into meal portions for my husband and I (2 legs each) and stick them into the freezer portioned. From there, if my husband or I feel like chicken for dinner, I will grab a portioned package from the freezer and toss it into the fridge to thaw for the next dinner.

For pork chops, if they are thicker, we do the same thing but one each and if it is a thinner chop we do 2 a piece. Same for steaks.

For the ground beef, we separate into medium sized rolls in different Ziploc bags for the freezer. The reasoning for that, is that we also pair a portioned package of ground beef with one or two bags of frozen stir fry vegetables from the store. Then we take 1 cup of brown rice (uncooked), and cook it. We mix all three ingredients to make a tasty stir fry.

Generally for vegetables we can get a bag of salad from the store or heat a frozen bag to be a side for other meats.

For out starch, we love potatoes and we love brown rice. The rice is pretty straight forward in how to prepare and can taste different depending on soy sauce or different seasoning (which goes for anything we cook really), but the potatoes are where we have a little fun. We can choose to mash them, cube them and bake them, thin slices and add cheese for au gratin, or make french fries in our deep fryer. We could even grate them for hash browns if we are feeling up to it.

That makes up most of our dinners, which can vary greatly depending on what we use or what seasonings we choose. I mean, tonight we made burgers.

The difference between my diet previously (3 large pizzas a week, taco bell, wendys, etc) and now is completely different. I mean, we still have one or two nights a week where we treat ourselves out, but most nights we get to spend together at our kitchen table, talking about our day.

 

3) Exercise.

I fucking hate exercise.

I don’t know about you, but I severely hate exercising in public. I get self conscious and start worrying about what my body looks like to others rather than doing the very best I can to get the most efficient work out. So while I still pay for a membership, I keep facing that personal fear every single time I considered heading to the gym. I then make the excuse that it is too much work for me to get showered and dressed for only a 30 minute workout and a drive all the way across town.

From there I decided that I would do T25 at home. The problem with that, is that in order to do T25 or other home workout videos, I have to again get myself mentally prepared to do it because exercise fucking sucks. It’s not the most fun thing to do, to turn on your television, pop in the disc, and listen to some super buff or fit person reminding you how overweight you are. Don’t get me wrong, T25 does have Sean T, and he is really nice about it, but it gets rather annoying that a skinny person constantly tells you something isn’t hard when you are carrying 200lbs more than them, and feel every step/jump you do much harder because of it.

So, I decided to be honest with myself and find something I have always wanted to do, but never really went for, because of my depression and insecurities. I started doing yoga. It’s low impact, which is a must because of my snapped knee ligament in my right knee. Also, I can get a great work out from doing 30 second poses that are designed for beginners. I’ve been doing it for a while and have doubled my pose holding time from 30 seconds to a minute, and am doing a total of 36 poses. I am starting to get strength in my legs, and feel less wobbly every day that I do it. The best thing about doing Yoga? My husband has found that he rather enjoys it because he chose to join in on a whim. He went and bought a yoga mat and we do Yoga together every day when he gets off of work. While he is much skinnier than me, he is nowhere near as flexible, so it is rather funny to see him struggle getting into positions and poses that I find relatively easy, which also makes me feel better about exercising.

 

In summary, you need to take care of your mind before you can focus on your body. The biggest thing you can do in regards to that is be honest. Be honest that mental illness is a real thing and that it is kicking your ass. Once you get your mental space fixed or on track, you need to be honest with yourself and address your eating habits and make baby steps to change them for the better. Finally, you have to be honest with yourself in order to find an exercise routine that makes you feel better and refreshed afterwards.

 

Thanks for letting me rant to you about my personal update. I still play video games and have recently started a YouTube channel where I post almost daily, videos of myself and my family playing games that we love together on the PS4 and computer. Feel free to subscribe here or there in order to keep connected.

Sincerely,

That Mental Fight

-Aerick Kerrick / Blaine Frazier

YouTube Channel

 

Posted in Dead By Daylight, Game Review

Review of “Dead By Daylight” – PS4

My first experience of this game was sitting my by bed, surrounded by darkness, with my face illuminated as I watched Jesse Cox and his friends run around as a killer, murdering the survivors and wiggling free from the killers grasp.
Initially it had me giggling, and it seemed fun, probably due to the group of friends joking together and playing around, even though the situation is literally playing with the idea of someone playing as a slasher psycho from some sort of horror movie.

I had talked to my husband and my sister periodically about the game since seeing the video, and we’ve investigated reviews little by little on YouTube.

Yesterday, my husband and I decided that we would purchase the game, and in order to convince my sister, I brought it to her house for her to give it a shot.

We took turns, lurking in the brush, hiding amongst the trees; it wasn’t long before we were screaming at the television, running away from a man with a chainsaw, or a madman doctor that kept electrocuting us.

We decided immediately that we were both hooked and as the night started, and all four of our consoles were ready, we logged into the game.

 

The Concept:

The general idea is good versus evil. A group of up to four campers are placed around the map with the goal of repairing three or more generators. Once the required number of generators are repaired, two exits are added to the map – one on either side. A small twist however, is that a survivor must channel opening the door via a button or lever system directly next to the exit. Once channeled, the door is open for any survivor to run past and leave the zone, unable to return, but given points for surviving the encounter and the ability to keep the items they found or started with.

While all of that is going on, you are placed in the map with someone playing as the killer. The killer is unknown to the group of survivors until they are met on the map face to face. The killer is unable to be destroyed, but generally moves slower than survivors. Especially when it comes to the drop-able barriers, and moving through windows or jumping over fallen logs. The killer is a being with one motivation, to please the “Entity” by killing all survivors. Generally each survivor has about 2 hit points. Getting struck once drops you down to one health, which causes you to bleed, stumble, and/or run slower than normal. The injured survivor also breathes louder and grunts in pain in this state. Once survivors are struck in this state, they are dropped onto their stomachs with essentially “0” hit points, crawling for their lives.

If another player manages to get to them before the killer picks them up, the crawling survivor is then able to hobble as if they had 1 health again. However, if the killer picks up a near death survivor, they are able to hoist their bodies onto one of many hooks stationed throughout the map. Survivors are then given a slowly depleting health bar that once depleted- they are immediately “sacrificed” and removed from the map.

Survivors can get to an ally and remove them from the hook, giving them the chance to hobble away as if they once again had “1 hit point”.

There are things in the game such as med kits, and toolboxes which make healing an option for injured survivors and speeds up the process on repairing generators.

 

There are also many…MANY…”perks” or abilities you can equip on killers and survivors, in order to customize the way you would like to play the game. Whether given the ability to see allies through walls, run faster to escape the killer, or to instantly kill crawling survivors without the need of placing them on a hook.

Dead by Daylight has a selection of survivors available, each with their own talents and traits; in addition to a variety of killers which increase the replay value of the game immensely. Add in to the fact that their are MANY maps, which make learning the ins and outs of each map (hiding locations, generator locations, things to jump over and walls to place) every game quickly ends up feeling relatively unique to the previous ones played.

However, there are some issues with the game itself that can affect the “fun” aspect of Dead by Daylight.

Dead by Daylight has some seriously annoying coop play. You can go into the mode of “Kill Your Friends” which allows you to select one of your friends to be the killer while the others are survivors. An annoyance is that there is no tutorial that shows you how to switch between the roles, so my family of four kept leaving in between matches to open up a new lobby started by the player that wanted to be the killer.We learned after days of playing that when in that game mode you can select the “spectator” button, which immediately turns into the “killer” button. You can only change in between the three rolls, in that exact order. The game can bug when doing this, thinking there are two killers. It will let you start a match, but it has glitched and crashed the game every time we did it this way.

Dead by Daylight doesn’t let you gain “bloodpoints” when you play in the “Kill Your Friends” mode. This is rather frustrating because you can spend hours playing with friends, only to gain nothing for your games against random players in a public lobby.

Another frustration is that if you decide to choose the “Survive With Friends” game mode, up to 4 players are put into a group, then put into matchmaking. The most irritating thing about this, is that the matchmaking system does not seem to place you with people around the same skill level as you. Nor are you placed with people about the same level. We were constantly grouped with killers that were level 20 or higher, and had a HUGE advantage over us, which was even more annoying because most of our matches were played together, so we didn’t get the “experience” or “bloodpoints” to use in multiplayer. Then you have to add on the fact that there are NOT a lot of people wanting to play as the killer (for various reasons, some were similar to the complaints above- just revered for the killers Point of View) so we waited for 10 minutes at nearly every attempt to play in the “Survive With Friends” game mode.

The game has a decent connection at almost every attempt to play, and we barely deal with disconnects. However, there is a huge problem with a killer leaving if you are decent at hiding. It is extremely unfair that when a survivor leaves the game or disconnects, the killer gets a bonus to their score/experience. If a killer leaves, you “disconnect from host” and get nothing. No experience. No “Bloodpoints”. No score. Nothing.

 

All of the complaints aside- we spend hours playing this game, shrieking over our headsets because the thumping heartbeat when a killer is nearby, the exploding hag traps that pop out at you, the crazy chainsaw wielding hillbilly, teleporting nurse, and doctor that makes you hallucinate causes us to nearly crap ourselves. You are on a  constant adrenaline high, hiding from a killer, trying not to attract the killer while repairing generators, helping caught allies, and screaming for help when you are on a hook and about to die.

This game, for the price of $29.99 was definitely one of the better purchases we have ever made on the PlayStation 4. We have gotten hours of entertainment that never feels entirely boring, and even though there are bugs periodically that cause you to crash, and the matchmaking is entirely frustrating at times, you can barely ever stop the adrenaline coursing through your brain.

Every game leaves you in that fearful sweat or that intense level of focus as you are running through cornstalks, attempting to evade a man wielding bear traps.

I simply cannot recommend this game enough, and you can bet your ass we will be buying the Halloween DLC that adds “The Shape” (Micheal Myers from Halloween) killer to the fray.

If you are a horror buff or an adrenaline junkie, or simply love to goof off with friends, buy the game. Perhaps we will see you and scream for our lives together. Perhaps we will piss our pants at the same time. Perhaps you may be on the bloody end of our claws as we chase you through the night.

There is a lot I didn’t talk about in this game but rather than spoiling all of the content, I firmly believe you should buy this game and give it your best shot. With an open mind, you won’t be disappointed.

(Note- the hit point references are not a real thing, but some people understand when numbers are used, so THAT’S why it’s in here 😉 )

Buy for Xbox:
http://www.gamestop.com/xbox-one/games/dead-by-daylight/147923

Buy for PlayStation:
https://www.playstation.com/en-us/games/dead-by-daylight-ps4/

Buy for PC:
http://store.steampowered.com/app/381210/agecheck